Choosing freedom, finding stability
Some people just seem to fit into this world. Working hard, following the rules, and socializing come naturally to them.
This has never been the case for me, and that’s okay. It used to bother me, that I didn’t have that same energy as the people around me. That waking up early, going to work all week, and socializing in the weekends felt impossible.
Trust me, I tried. I tried to fit in, to be like everyone else, but it only got me sick, anxious and feeling stuck. I knew I had the choice to keep going or to step into a different unknown life. One that involved risk, and letting go of everything I knew, to embrace what was truly meant for me.
My heart gets to choose
A life in which my body can decide when it wants to move. And my brain can decide when it wants to produce. A life in which my heart gets to choose what it wants to express and what it doesn’t. It’s such a big shift when you move from adapting to being. My body, mind and soul finally feel calm, and excited to express. Not to prove anything to anyone, or to survive, but simply because it’s a part of me and my journey.
I’m aware now there are more people like me than I realized. I met some of them, in Egypt while I was traveling. People who chose to live a lifestyle outside of the norm. Who prefer, freedom over comfort. And I realized, my dream was actually possible. I love waking up in rest. No rushing my morning, but simply relaxing and drinking my cup of tea. To feel how I am doing and organizing my day around that feeling. Some days I just feel I need a day of rest and I enjoy it without any guilt. Other days I feel so excited and have many ideas that want to come to fruition. You could call it work, but it feels more like fun and expression.
Other ways than money
Earning money, a lot of it, is what usually makes us feel safe, and that is true for me too. But over the years I’ve learned to feel safe with less, to find creative ways to live and keep a roof over my head. It’s not always easy, and sometimes freedom feels uncertain. My life is far from perfect, so of course I aim to earn more. But the difference is: money no longer rules my life the way it once did.
I love feeling this free, it’s more important to me than to most people. If someone would ask me the question: would you choose stability or freedom? I would say freedom, but I believe you can aim for both. I needed to step out of the stability I had known first to find my sense of freedom, and from this freedom I’m building my own kind of stability, step by step. A lifestyle that suits me, filled with relaxation, exploring, creativity, adventure, learning from struggles along the way and turning them into wisdom to build something that feels solid to me.
My lifestyle is not meant for everyone. It’s simply more suitable for me. For this introverted, sensitive deep soul who somehow couldn’t adapt anymore.
x, Maura
Written by Maura ten Hoopen, Spiritual Creator, Music Producer and Writer.
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