Surrendering to the moment
I want to be honest with you. Surrendering has been really difficult for me. even when I think I’m living in the present moment, there’s always a part of me looking ahead. Hoping that whatever I’m doing will bring me the future I’ve been longing for.
And that hope, as small as it is, is exactly what keeps me from fully enjoying the moment. Because how can you truly be in the now when a part of you is waiting for something else to happen?
The few times I have been in a real state of flow were when I was creating music. I wasn’t thinking, wasn’t planning and I wasn’t hoping. I truly don’t remember how I made these songs I created in flow. When I listen to them now, I am surprised that I was able to create that and I truly wonder how I did it.
Someone once told me that you know you’ve been in a true flow state when you don’t even remember how you did what you did. And that made me wonder, why doesn’t that happen more often? And how do I get in that flow?
Convincing myself was exhausting
People often say that you should already be the person who has what you desire. “Live as if you already have it.” This frustrated me so much. I tried to do it. Every day, I tried to convince myself that I already had financial freedom, that I had already found the love of my life. But the more I tried, the more i saw lack.
I was visualizing, affirming, trying so hard to be happy with the “fake” love and money that weren’t really there. And it was exhausting. Instead of making me feel aligned, it just made me more aware of what I did’t have.
Trying to force flow
Then I thought, okay, maybe I just need to focus on what makes me happy. If I write and make music every day, then I will attract what I want. But of course, I was still trying.
I was trying to be in a flow state. I was trying to be happy. I was still doing it with the expectation that it would bring me something. So what do all these coaches who talk about manifesting mean with surrender? Why does this work for them and not for me?
My frustration grew bigger every day, until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I exploded in emotions. I wanted to give up on everything.
The breaking point
Okay, this explosion of emotions was not pleasant, I admit. But it was helpful. Because after all the pushing, even as subtle as it was, I could finally see that I wasn’t really surrendered at all.
And in that moment, I was forced to release all the tension. I started to ask myself:
- What does surrender actually mean?
- How can I be present while still allowing myself to dream?
- How do I let go without giving up?
And I realized something.
For me, it wasn’t about pretending I was already the person with my manifestation. That felt fake. But what did feel good was knowing that my manifestation is on its way. That shift changed everything.
I don’t have to force or try anything. I don’t have to act as if it’s already here. I simply trust that it’s coming. And in the meantime? I get to enjoy this moment. What a freedom.
I can just relax, knowing it’s already unfolding. This realization gave me so much space to breathe. And it made me want to write this, not because I need this blog to bring me anything, but just because I felt like it.
Of course I don’t feel this level of trust every second of the day. Some days, I’m wondering how can this ever happen. But now, I recognize it faster and I know releasing the frustration and fear will make me feel lighter to enjoy the moment again.
Living in the moment
So, to put it simply, here’s what finally clicked for me:
- instead of pretending it’s already here, I just trust it’s coming. And when doubt creeps in, I remind myself by visualizing and feeling it. Not forcing, not obsessing, just feeling into the possibility.
- Instead of “doing” things to make it happen, I focus on simply being. Knowing my manifestation is coming, I can surrender to the current moment and enjoy it as if I’m on a holiday.
And when I catch myself slipping into old patterns, stressing about the future, I remind myself of one simple truth:
"This moment is all there is."
x, Maura,
Written by Maura ten Hoopen, Spiritual Creator, Music Producer and Writer.
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