The beauty of vulnerability
Since I started sharing my personal journey and feelings, more and more people have been reaching out to me. Many of them feel connected to my stories and tell me they’ve been touched in some way. That’s exactly why I share them.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt different, different from the norm. I often felt alone, like nobody really understood me. I didn’t know there were others like me, because not many people share their inner worlds. It would have made me feel so much more connected knowing how we all struggle with our own things. Even though most people respond positively and thankfully to my stories, they sometimes seem worried about how vulnerable I am. I understand why. I’ve also wondered many times: Am I sharing too much?
Why I share my story
I am someone who enjoys the deeper parts of life. Being vulnerable is a choice I make, because it’s the only way to truly connect on a deeper level. Of course, I could have chosen to only be vulnerable in my private life, but I knew it was important to take that bold step and share who I am with the world around me.
Since I’ve been doing this, I’ve grown so much. I no longer hide because I’m scared of what people will think. I now share for those who understand and feel the same. You can’t have it both ways, hiding from the world and at the same time expecting true connections and blessings to come your way.
Sure, some people won’t appreciate or understand my stories, and that’s okay. But I share for those who do appreciate it, people who feel seen because of it. That’s something I’ve longed for my whole life. To be seen and understood by someone similar to me. And now, I want to be that person for others.
Vulnerability is rare
Growing up, I always felt different, more sensitive and more creative. I often felt like I didn’t belong in this world, because I didn’t recognize myself in anyone around me. When I shared my feelings, I noticed that people got uncomfortable. So for a long time, I stopped sharing anything.
Those years of hiding my true self were actually the loneliest years of my life. I’ve realized now that it’s not my job to make other people feel comfortable. It’s my job to be myself, while staying kind and loving in the process.
Most people don’t share their true feelings or thoughts. Why? To please others? Out of fear of judgment? Maybe both, or perhaps something else. From my own experience, I think being vulnerable can be scary. When you share your true self, you can’t hide behind a mask anymore. And if people judge you then, it can hurt more, because they’re judging the real you.
Sometimes, I feel like I don’t really know some of the people around me. I don’t really know what they’re actually feeling or thinking, and I find myself guessing based on how they act. I don’t blame them, vulnerability can be hard. But it does make me wonder what life would look like if we all felt safe enough to share more of who we are.
My own fear of being vulnerable
For a long time, I was scared of being vulnerable. Sometimes I still am. Opening up to the world and saying what I really feel and think isn’t always easy. I remember someone telling me once, just when I started stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing more online: “Don’t share anything personal about yourself. People will use it against you.”
At first, this scared me, and I stopped sharing for a while. But now I understand that this was his fear, a fear that many people carry. It’s not a universal truth. It’s a belief that to survive, we need to protect ourselves. But I’ve learned that you can be vulnerable and strong at the same time.
As long as you stay true to yourself, people can say what they want. Their reactions reveal who they are, not who you are. Even if you hide your story and yourself, people will still make up their own stories about you and judge you anyway. Some people will like you, and some people won’t. So why not be real? At least then, the people who love you will love you for who you truly are.
Being honest about who you are
Vulnerability doesn’t mean sharing every little detail about your life or putting your story online like I do. I choose to share a lot, but I still decide where my boundaries are. There will always be precious things I keep to myself.
To me, vulnerability means being honest about who you are. Being able to say, “This is who I am, and this is what I stand for.” Imagine how it would feel to live without fear of judgment. Speaking your truth doesn’t have to be harsh or hurtful. You can choose to share from a place of love.
The beauty of vulnerability
The freedom vulnerability brings is magical. Since I’ve stopped holding myself back out of fear and no longer need validation from others, my life has improved in every way. Some people have stopped talking to me, and left my life. Yes, it hurts my ego a little, but more than anything, it was freeing. I no longer waste my energy on people who don’t appreciate me for who I truly am. I enjoy mystical things, but I never dared talking about them with people as I was judged a long time ago. Now I get to enjoy that part of myself again. I can talk and discover what spirituality means to me with others. It is beautiful. The connections I have, have grown deeper and more meaningful.
What amazed me is how many new connections have come my way. I had no idea there were so many people out there with similar experiences and feelings. And that has been the greatest gift.
I want to thank you for being here, and share a quote (by me;)) that resonates with me in this time:
"The moment you allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are, you start attracting the people and experiences that are meant for you."
x, Maura,
Written by Maura ten Hoopen, Spiritual Creator, Music Producer and Writer.
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