It will pass my dear
A letter for who is losing hope
I am here with you.
In this place, I call ‘the in between’.
That place where it feels like things will never get better again.
Where you feel stuck between your old life, and the new that doesn’t seem to show up.
I know, this can feel like forever, like it will never pass.
But it will.
I felt stuck for a while
About two years ago I came back from living in Egypt for 2 years. The most adventurous time of my life so far. But when I came back ‘home’, reality hit me.
Harder than I expected.
Everything seemed to crumble one by one.
It started with my relationship.
Then my mental health felt shaky and for many months I spent a lot of my time crying.
Releasing emotions I didn’t know were there.
My energy collapsed.
I couldn’t work or create anymore.
Even taking a walk outside would make my body respond in a way that it was clearly too much.
You can imagine, after more than a year of feeling like this and nothing changing no matter how hard I tried, I felt like it would never end. But something inside me kept going, knowing this was all meant to happen. I had to go through this phase, so I could eventually start a life without all the bagage I had been carrying for way too long.
It will pass
This story isn’t about me, even though it seems like it. I am sharing my story, because I know someone out there might be going through something similar. Most of us end up in a place, sometime in our lives, where things feel too much to bear.
And I am here to tell you, it will pass.
Even if it takes so much longer than you thought you could handle. Even if there is no proof of change anywhere to be found.
Because after a complete collaps, not seeing where life was taking me, I realize I can breathe again. But this time, I can breathe more calm and steady than ever before. As if my body needed to go through this process, for me to become freer.
To find myself again, slowly, without pressure.
To build a life upon flow, self-love and respect for my body.
Instead of pushing through life, trying to make things happen like I used to do.
It was worth it
When you are in it, in that place ‘the in between’, you might not believe this could ever be worth it. That’s what I thought. This pain, these doubts, all the emotional purging, how could this ever be worth it?
But someday you realize you feel lighter.
That’s when you might say to yourself: “It was worth it.”
If you are going through a difficult time, you are releasing and making space for something completely new! You are shedding the old you, and something else will come to life.
Remember, being pregnant takes time and giving birth is painful and messy. But what will come after it, makes your reality shift into something completely different.
You are now in the place where you are building resilience so that you can lean upon your strenght for the rest of your life.
This doesn’t make it all better or easier now. But perhaps my words and love will help you feel a little bit calmer.
As I am sharing this, I feel so alive.
My body is building again, trusting my guidance. My creativity is back, and it is more real than I have experienced before. Like a fire has been lit inside of me.
I am no longer that person I was before. I became someone who knows, that no matter what, we can count upon our own strength and we can trust something is coming.
My life is feeling more natural now that all that was false, has fallen away. What a relief…
I am not sure what I have gone through. A kundalini awakening, a nervous system shut down, a depression. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you name it. It was part of my journey to meet myself again.
I hope my words have found their place, where they were supposed to land.
I am sending you soothing energy.
Vulnerability opens a space where others can feel seen, and safe, ready to embrace who they truly are.
x, Maura
Written by Maura ten Hoopen, Spiritual Creator, Music Producer and Writer.
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