When flow turns into pressure
When I start something new, inspiration comes naturally. One of the reasons I began writing was because I simply had to. So many things wanted to move through me, and putting them into words felt like a release. Like I suddenly had more space to breathe.
But soon after sharing my writing and receiving the first few compliments, the inspiration turns into perfectionism. I start to think about every detail: What do people want to hear? How vulnerable should I be? How can I become better?
And just like that, the flow is gone. But this time, I see it happening.
Instead of freezing, I’m choosing to write about it.
Pressure rises
What I’m experiencing is a pattern that has shown up not only in writing, but in every creative vision I’ve ever had. Something wants to come to life, but as soon as I bring it into the world, the energy shifts from fun, flow, and ease into doubt, insecurity, and overthinking.
The first positive responses start to fade, as my intention behind creating turns into control.
I remember when I spontaneously decided I wanted to create music for games. With all my enthusiasm, I found some game developers who wanted to collaborate. I created my first pieces with so much excitement and received beautiful compliments, even though I had no experience.
That’s when the shift happened. I realized it could actually become something real, so the pressure rose. Before I knew it, the next collaborations felt forced, and I couldn’t create anything that felt truly valuable. The same thing happened when I made music for films.
I kept trying for a while, but it felt draining, so I stopped making game and film music. The joy had disappeared, which was the main reason I started in the first place.
Finding the way back to joy
I’m sharing this because I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggles with perfectionism and the pressure to create something ‘successful’. I’ve noticed that by simply being aware of it, I have the choice to stop like I usually do, or to find my way back to joy.
I almost stopped writing too because nothing felt good enough, but then I remembered why I started. I didn’t start to be good enough in anyone’s eyes. I started because it’s simply in my nature. Writing helps me bring order to the chaos of life, makes me feel connected to like-minded souls, and simply brings me peace when it comes from a genuine place.
So I took a break. I took a breath. And I remembered.
I releazed how much pressure I’d put on myself. So now I check in everytime before I start writing by asking myself: Why do I write? Who do I write for?
When the answer is ‘because I should’ or when I feel an urge to prove my worth to others, I pause. When my answer is it’s who I am and it wants to come out, I allow myself to flow.
Because being in your natural essence is the most valuable thing you can be, it doesn’t feel forced, stressful, or draining. When you are in your natural flow you feel at ease in a place where time seems fluid and your mind is soft.
How do you deal with a pressure to succeed? I’d love to hear your experience around this subject. This way we can support each other, learn from each other, and rememeber that we’re in it together.
I share my truth, because realness creates connection. Vulnerability opens a space where others can feel seen, and safe, ready to embrace who they truly are. If it resonates, share it and leave a message.
x, Maura
Written by Maura ten Hoopen, Spiritual Creator, Music Producer and Writer.
I'd love to hear your story, thoughts and feelings, feel free to share them below.
If you’d like to sprinkle some magic back, thank you kindly:
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and music. I stumbled upon your blog via Insight Timer. It all resonates.
Fitting in and belonging are not the same. Because I had a hard time belonging I got really great at fitting in from a very young age. So your stories resonate.
The belonging, I gradually learned, comes from within. I belong. To me. You just made your entire life around that, so your stories also inspireer.
And then the flow thingie.. I took up singing because deep inside I kind of need the expression. So in short, I wanted to learn the skills and be perfect. I took lessons from teachers from all kinds of methods. Also expecting to find my true voice. Damn. That did not work out.
Still I performed at (home) parties and couple of times on stage. Big adrenaline rushes, quiet addictive. But also rarely ‘available’ so creating even more a kind of thing to miss, lack.
Singing was not fun anymore. It became a quest.
Then I discovered two things.
I really love sitting at home learning songs on my own, word by word. It gives tremendous satisfaction. Deeply relaxing and progressing by making mistakes I really can laugh about. The fun is back.
Secondly, when practicing under worse circumstances (always when not at home – literally and figuratively) it becomes unfree, ‘I have done and I can do better, why is it not working now, what do I do wrong’ pressure coming up. So over time I learned to get to… my inner smile. The inner smile gives relaxation and brings faith to sing exactly what I’m supposed to sing, without doubting the outcome. I can hear my own voice from there and feel free and flowing.
Damn again. While writing this I realize that the writing itself gives the insight that the secret inner smile is not just applicable on the singing. But probably on life itself.
That is definitely worth a coffee. I’ll get you one too.
Writing does wonders right? It can be so helpful to figure things out and making it more clear that way. Thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts. I can see how it resonates… and you explain it beautifully. I definitely recognize the adrenaline rushes you describe from performing too. Also, I’m so happy to hear you are enjoying my music on Insight Timer. I intend to share more uploads there in the coming months. Audio stories most of all. Hope to see you there, and here, again! Thank you for the coffee, I will definitely enjoy that one. Cheers! Maura